Relationships First
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Episode 5: Our Seasonal Relationships

November 1, 2018

In episode 5, Bill and Molly discuss how the different aspects of seasonal changes can bring opportunity for networking and nurturing relationships.


Bill Risser: This is Bill Risser.

Molly McKinley: And Molly McKinley, and we're talking relationships.

Bill Risser: All kinds of relationships, from starting new ones to nurturing existing ones over time.

Molly McKinley: And each week, we'll highlight something that inspires.

Bill Risser: Or triggers us.

Molly McKinley: To help get to the root of why relationships are key to our happiness and success.

Molly McKinley: Hello. Welcome to episode five of Relationship Matters. And today, Bill and I are going to be talking about the seasons and how this affects our relationships. So Bill, I know when I first brought this topic up, I think I heard an eye roll. I'm not sure. Think I did. But the first thing that you said was sports, and that's what Fall means to you. So, break that down for me.

Bill Risser: Look, growing up, my father was a massive sports fan. If there was anything, it if was a championship for tiddlywinks, we were watching it, right? And I've acquired that love of the competition. The actual, really only true reality TV show out there, right, is the sporting event, where you just don't know the outcome until it's over.

Molly McKinley: That's true.

Bill Risser: Yeah. To have that, to share that with him, and to know that football was his sport, and to know then that, so back in school, or you felt that cold snap when you get up in the morning. Where we grew up out in California, they weren't severe, but they were severe enough. You knew that we were heading into this new routine, this new place, where every Sunday I'd be sitting with my dad for anywhere from three to six hours watching football. So, that's how it started.

Bill Risser: And then, as I got older and found my own friends, it was that comradery of getting together to watch the Chargers play on a Sunday. That turned into fantasy sports. And so, this whole Fall season led to these different types of relationships. Most recent with Kevin, where he will call me on a Sunday, or he'll text me, I should say, on a Sunday, are you watching this game? Or, what do you think about this?

Bill Risser: And so, it's very cool. The sports for me is definitely deeply relational, if that makes sense.

Molly McKinley: It totally does, yeah. And it gives you a reason to get in flow with someone, because you're pulling yourself into common interests. For me, I really crave getting back into that normal routine with my kids, and having the school routine and sort of the flow of their schedules, and back into sports modes. As we enter into new seasons, or we're moving into a new season, all of the different types of people that I get to see again, like my son's hockey team and the new people I'll be meeting with my other son's lacrosse team. When there's an entering of a new season, it is an opportunity for us to get back into relationship with people that we haven't seen since the last season, all of our schools and the teachers, and all of that entire community that you lose connection with. It really is a great opportunity to look around and see where the opportunities are.

Bill Risser: You and I are both in the real estate space. And you know, for realtors, lenders, people on that side of the world, they've got the same thing going on. There are these seasonal changes that are directly tied to the calendar, for most of them.

Molly McKinley: Yeah.

Bill Risser: I know for down here in Florida, we definitely, as Summer is kind of wrapping up, we've got a mass attempt to try to get everybody in their house before school starts. We have this big rush at the end of July. There's this big month. And then, once that's kind of gone and settled down, we're now pushing towards the holidays. And when you're going up towards the holidays, people want to be situated and taken care of before Thanksgiving and Christmas, so they can have their relatively normal holidays.

Bill Risser: And then, as you get into the winter time here, it's the snowbird season. So for people in the profession, they're trying hard to make sure they're not missing any of those connections. People that they've helped, maybe, with leases for the last five years. Are they ready to make that big purchase now, or become a full-time resident. So that's always happening.

Bill Risser: And then, I think after that, about April, there is this little catch up, kind of catch your breath season. So we've gone through the first quarter, and now for the second quarter, as Spring kind of rolls into Summer, you have this opportunity to kind of regroup, and maybe stay more connected back to your local relationships. And so, it definitely flows. I like that word, the way you used it. It definitely flows in a place like Florida, and I'd imagine even in the Northeast and the Midwest. They all have the same sort of thing.

Molly McKinley: It does, because it gives you an opportunity to just reconnect in ways that you, from each season to season, there's other new ways that you can connect with people. And that's really what this weather change and the calendar change affords us.

Bill Risser: You're like the hippy child, kind of Yogini. And I hope I'm not offending you when I say all of that.

Molly McKinley: No.

Bill Risser: But you have this wonderful aura, and that's why I love doing this podcast, because I get to listen to you, and you educate me. And so, I, not wanting to let you down, Googled relations and seasons.

Molly McKinley: I love that you did your homework, yes.

Bill Risser: That's what I do. I Google things. And I wanted to bring up that there's this whole other level that the Google machine showed me about seasonal relationships versus lifetime relationships. And it really categorized, for me, as that analytical person, it made perfect sense to think about. Some relationships are lifetime. You're in one. I'm in one. They're the best. And then, some relationships are seasonal, meaning short term or of a certain length, not lifetime. I guess anything not lifetime could be seasonal. Some are going to be longer than others, right? So it was a very interesting way to look at it. And I thought, oh, maybe that's what she was talking about.

Molly McKinley: Yes.

Bill Risser: But I think they all tie together, right?

Molly McKinley: They do, right? And I think taking stock of your relationships, and understanding that. The quote is actually, "The reason, the season, and the lifetime."

Bill Risser: That's the quote. Yup, there is.

Molly McKinley: The reason, the season, and the lifetime. And that is, what is nice about that is, one, it allows you to detach when it's time to detach, because there are reasons and seasons. But it's also really applicable for a realtor to be able to be objective about the relationships that you have in your life today. And the value or the reason that you're bringing is to be in service to someone who is making a huge life move. Usually life events are the triggers for property purchases, you know?

Bill Risser: Yup.

Molly McKinley: And so, you're able to be that guide in that process. And I do think the aim is to move into a more connected seasonal or lifetime relationship if that's meant to be.

Bill Risser: Understanding that moving, marriage, children, divorce. I think those are the four stress, biggest stressors in our lives.

Molly McKinley:Yup.

Bill Risser: And the three almost always lead to housing, whether they're getting married or divorced, or you're having more kids, or having kids that you're going to have to go see that fourth, because of that fourth stress mode as well. So for a realtor to understand what's happening in another person's life, to really understand where they're at, is critical. And I think those kinds of seasonal relationships, it's so weird how this all mixes together, because the season could be just that part of their lives, where they're building a family. Or that season could be they're just getting started out together. Or the season could be, sometimes unfortunately, things grow apart, and that's a season as well, right?

Molly McKinley:Yeah.

Bill Risser: So understanding those triggers, understanding that there's needs, and understanding how to even find those opportunities, because to be quite honest there are opportunities to help and serve, and also be of great value to the realtor that knows how to identify those opportunities, right?

Molly McKinley: That's it.

Bill Risser: Yeah.

Molly McKinley: So, as the leaves start to change, and the pumpkin spice lattes come into the fold.

Bill Risser: Can I just have pumpkin pie? Do I have to have a pumpkin spice latte? Can I just have pumpkin pie with extra whipped cream?

Molly McKinley: Yes, you can.

Bill Risser: Okay, good. Thank you.

Molly McKinley: As long as you have me over for that.

Bill Risser: Well, I don't know. Yeah.

Molly McKinley: We'll have to see about that.

Bill Risser: But the spiced latte, go ahead.

Molly McKinley: But the key to that is to pay attention, you know? Pay attention. And pay attention to nature around you, because often she's dropping life cues for you. And if you pay attention to the flow of your day to day, and how it's changing, then you'll also be aware and looking for the opportunities to meet new people.

Bill Risser: You talk about being aware. That's the L word, right? Is that that listening word we've talked about before?

Molly McKinley:I think. Is that going to be the note of every single podcast that we do these days?

Bill Risser: I don't know. I just saw something else. Listen and silent have the exact same letters. Did you know that?

Molly McKinley:I did know that.

Bill Risser: You knew that already. I knew you knew that. And so, for me, that was something that I saw, and I went, oh man. I wish I saw this 30 years ago, that you know, listening intentionally or listening. You can't really talk and listen at the same time. It's true, right? You can't do both. Yeah.

Molly McKinley: No. no. Yeah.

Bill Risser: So that's how you've got to find those. Listen intently. Find those opportunities. Find those, understand the flow. I love that. Understand the flow, so you can be that. You can be of service, and you can help. I love that.

Molly McKinley: Yup. Nature provides us the perfect framework, so we just have to pay attention.

Bill Risser: I really didn't know where we were going to go. You mentioned earlier that you heard an eye roll. Yeah, you heard a big eye roll, but I was pleasantly surprised by what I found out about it by Googling it. And obviously, you always bring the goods. You always have a way of kind of setting me up for success, which is really an important thing you need to be able to do, set others up for success. I think that's a massive part of what we should be doing. And, doesn't that really help with relationships?

Molly McKinley: Absolutely.

Bill Risser: So, anyways. For anyone listening, we'd love your feedback on how we handle seasonal relationships, whether it's lifetime versus actual seasons of the calendar. So let us know. Leave a note in the comments, or hit up Molly or myself on Twitter. We'd love to know what you think about this one. And Molly, you've got to set us up for episode six, right?

Molly McKinley:So, in episode six, we're going to be breaking down a question that I get asked all the time. And that is, how are you supposed to be in relationship with your prospects and clients, and people that you do business with. Are you supposed to be friends? Are you supposed to be friendly? Are you just supposed to be professional?

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